Life is Fleeting

The past 48 hours have marked a very dark time for several of my closest friends, and many of my extended friends. With the untimely death of a very important member of many lives, the sun won't be shining quite so bright for the rest of this summer.

Wow. That introduction sounded like the header for a feature article. Normally, I'd be fairly pleased with my efforts but this blog, the very first blog, is not about practicing my print skills.

What do you do when you never have the chance to say goodbye? When you can't remember the last words that left your mouth in their presence? When your reply to a message is a few days too late? Nothing. You can do nothing. You're helpless, hopeless, confused and worst of all... full of regret. Well, that's life. Life is a bitch. It's cruel and unfair. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I don't want this blog to turn into a rant (well, what else are blogs, really?) about how shitty life can be or how God (or whoever the hell is up there) is just a big, giant bully...but sometimes I find a directionless blab is all that will help.

I wish I had been less patient. I wish I had written to you first. I wake up in the morning and I am fine. When I am distracted or with friends, I feel fine. Normal, even. And then, I am alone, and thinking... and I remember... and I get that empty well feeling in my stomach and my throat swells and my eyes sting and my cheeks burn. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't. Songs and photos make me cry.

But what can I do? Nothing. What can my dad do when he sees me upset and asks, "is there anything I can do, sweetie?" Nothing. What can anyone do? Nothing. Unless they possess time reversal magic beans. Things like this are painfully permadent. And I know some are being optimistic. But the facts are the facts, and it seems pretty hard to swing by this one.

With this in mind, I have decided life is too short not to tell people how you feel, if you really feel something... Because before you know it, you might never have the chance. So far this year, I have learned that the hard way... So to anyone or no one who reads this, if you have got something to say, for God's sake, say it while you still can!

On a more positive note, another couple I know just had their first child together. The cycle of life continues....

It is now 11.20 in the morning. I am going to bed.